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Allow me to introduce myself and my fellow scientists aboard the ship Ghost. Our original names of course are unpronounceable so it is good that we long ago changed them to Human names.
I am Get Back Lo-ret-ta and no, my name isn't Sweet Loretta Martin, so all of you scallywags
down on the third planet trying to hook up with me on those online dating services, forget it!
I am from an avion based species and no, we lost our wings untold thousands of years ago. My skin
is comprised of what your scientists call chromatafores, much like your squid life forms, which
means that I change color in many combinations depending on my emotional state.
My home world is called octovia and that is where I grew up and went to school for psychology and
later, Intergalactic archaeology. I, like others of the crew have two functions. I am the psychologist
for the crew as well as the psychological consultant regarding other forms of life.
Billy Bob is from a reptillian based species with scally skin and a blunt snout with well pronounced
canine teeth. He is large and formidable looking. He is the navigator as well as the artifact analyst.
He looks at a species artifacts and extrapolates data from them.
Bubba is occasionally unstable, nothing to be afraid of, just one or two centimeters off of center is all.
He adopted Human beer and television quickly, (which I believe the Creator had something to do with, since
they spend a great deal of time drinking this stuff and watching football. Especially on Monday nights.
It is sometimes difficult for those who meet him for the first time to get passed his appearance to
recognize his intelligence. He can sometimes be a little narrow minded and the Human social identity
known as red neck fits Bubba nicely, though he has a certain amount of charm, it is not always apparent
behind his aggressive nature.
Jack is the artificial intelligence on the mission. He is the first of his kind to achieve the things Jack
has achieved. For example; He is the only one of his kind who has a personality, a personal identity and
an ego identity.
All of this happened after arriving here in this system and studying the Human life forms
for awhile. suddenly he announced that he was changing his name to Jumpin Jack Flash and wanted a more
mobile presents, that is, the ability to move around and interact with the other crew members. This was
generally attributed to watching too much television beginning with the robot Robby in the movie Forbidden
Planet.
The entire crew had to endure a week of 'Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Until Bubba threatened to eat his
circuit boards. One of the things that made Jack unique is that he collaborated with Ghost to find a way
for him to communicate with the rest of the crew without a terminal being present, he now can, like Ghost and Chief Rain Cloud,
communicate telepathically. He establishes two links with our brains, one for listening and one for communicating.
These links are established with our permission of course and the only real problem is that we all tend
to forget that he is present unless he is actually communicating with us. After all, it is kind of nice
to have that kind of processing power available when we need it.
One of the more humorous things that happened to us, even before the Creator came to us, is when
Big Head Boy and all of us realized how closely he resembled the Human's fantasy vision of what
aliens might look like. It was a perfect match for our data analyst and star cartographer who, along
with Chief Rain Cloud, are the only two among us who didn't choose their own new Human names.
The rest of us named them. Big Head Boy for obvious reasons, he has an enormous head with these huge
oval eyes with a small mouth and nose. He has a most disconcerting feature about his eyes. when his
eye lids come down, they do so very slowly. However, when they go back up, they go at lightning speed.
The Creator said they remind him of the old venition blinds that used to let go and continue to flap
around and around at the top. Who knows what that is? The Creator is more than a little strange at times.
But Big Head Boy is a little bit stuffy, as in, condescending and arrogant. But he's good at what he
does and isn't too difficult to get along with. The Creator is always trying to get him to smile just
to see if his face will crack and break. Deep breath, sigh!
Its are a class of life forms all alone. They are so different that most other forms of life would rather
not encounter them. The closest similarity to Human perceptions would be a super administrator control
freak on steroids. They are always serious and almost always negative. They are depressing and always trying
to, as the Creator puts it, rain on everyones parade. That's why we named him Chief Rain Cloud, not to
disrespect the American Indian. It was a perfect name for his personality or rather lack of personality.